Can you be friends with your ex?
I guarantee some of you clicked on that heading like ….
But honestly though…
“Can you be friends with your ex?”
The answer is “YES” – of course you can be friends with your ex, now whether that is healthy for you, that is another question altogether.
“being able to be friends with your ex is a sign of maturity”– Some random quotes page on twitter and most men.
It is also a sign of maturity to know when to burn that bridge. Because it does take a certain type of “growth”, to handle being friends with your ex.
Everyone says they can handle it, but unless you were the one that did the dumping, or it was mutual dumping, you will have a hard time handling the person you once loved (or still love in some of your cases), speaking about the new love of their life. This is normal.
If you are the dumpee, and you are trying to be friends, and you tug in your chest whenever they speak about someone else, you feel your chest tighten and your skin starts sweating, abandon ship right now. You are not ready to be their friend just yet, you need to work on those “tugs”.
Why not? I hear you asking yourself. Well, my friend you are not over them yet, and this is not how to get closure.
“Oh but I am – you will always have feelings for someone”
This is true. However when they speak about their new love, if you are truly over them, you will feel your heart swell with joy, not tightness.
By saying they don’t care I’m saying they don’t care romantically for you so therefore they don’t even acknowledge your tweets as they think you guys are friends so it cannot be about them.
So really you are just playing yourself on repeat.
But to those who parted with ex’s even though you hated them during the first 48 – yet you guys have now spoken laughed and agree to respect each other’s personal space then I don’t see why not –
because everyone loves to scream your partner should be your best friend (yet logic suddenly becomes invalid when break up happens init?!)
Think about it if we apply that logic then when you and your friends fall out, you guys find a way to make peace even if you don’t stay the closest of friends, you will reach some place of peace (again in some situations you just gotta burn that bridge)
However, if you feel like you are CAN be friends with your ex and successfully then goo be freee be friends be happy but if you are still lurking on the page of their love interest and there is burning in your chest then…..