Friend : He doesn’t post me on social media Vanessa what does it mean?
Me: It could be for a variety of reasons hun…
What does it mean though?? This topic is one that has been top five most discussed on Twitter in my opinion and it dates back so far I was even reading a cosmopolitan article on it from 2016.
Every couple of weeks or so I will see someone retweet something to do with couples and their social media activity.
This topic for me is a weird one, because on one side I understand why people feel a bit funny if their significant other doesn’t post their partners on social media, but on the other side I also understand why people do not.
However, going by social media ”rules” on this is a recipe for disaster.
There are a variety of reasons as to why someone would/wouldn’t post pictures of their significant other, I guess you have come here to find out what to do? Or even why, So let me see if can shine some light here.
1. They aren’t a “social media” person.
It seems that because we have things like Instagram, snapchat etc and we post selected photos of ourselves we must also divulge those in our personal lives.
This is not how things work. So yes they may have those applications but your partner might be happy to just post the occasional selfie and observe the social world from the sidelines.
This means keeping their world separate which is mentioned. In this really interesting letter from the daily dot.
They do not have to showcase you to the world of strangers, to declare their love for you. If you are someone thinks they still have too.
Ask yourself, why is that you are seeking validation from complete strangers in the first place?
2. They are cheating.
Now this seems to be the top reason according to many on the interweb.
I don’t think posting me on social media means my partner won’t cheat. It just means if they do there is chance the person they cheated with knows about me. I am now the subject of their jokes in the group chat.
However, I can understand why many would come to this conclusion. It is a valid method to conceal cheating. Let’s face it. Posting you all over his socials, would surely lead to his concubine being able to let you know of his antics.
That being said, you need to factor in personal knowledge of your partner to make a final call. This could be anything from body language, when handling their phone, etc..
Proceed with caution as this situation. This situation is extra volatile. It is driven by emotion so think with your head.
3. They are trying to protect you.
Social media is a crazy world filled with even crazier people and these crazy people say and equally crazier things.
So keeping you off their socials could be their way of sheltering you from people who could potentially cause an issue in your relationship and we’ve all seen how quickly a rumour can travel on the internet depending on who starts it.
once it’s out there its incredibly difficult to get rid of it.
The internet never forgets and you don’t need that level of toxicness in your relationship.
4. Finally. Discuss your concerns with them.
Look you know I harp on about communication all the time because that is really the foundation of any solid ”ship”.
If this is something that is really important to you, then sit them down and have a conversation, with them and let them know how you are feeling about the situation.
Making a note to approach the conversation tactfully, not go in there on the attack;
”are you cheating” ”are you embarrassed by me” any phrases like that can position someone into defence mode and you will get nowhere.
So. Don’t Attack. (and stop listening to your friends reasons for why YOUR partner WHO YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THEM isn’t doing something.