You and your partner are having a great day, basking in your love and then boom! then they start talking about “marriage” and your heart hits the ground. Then you realise “I don’t want to get married”
What to do when your partner doesn’t want to get married is one question. What to do if YOU don’t want to get married is whole other question in itself.
1. Ask yourself why.
For me personally the thought of marriage has never been exciting to me and I can link it back to all the problematic marriages i saw around me growing up.
I have an old soul when it comes to romance and i am what you would call a hopeless romantic and i am super traditional in the sense that infidelity is a big no no for me (in marriage anyway – during the dating stage that’s a whole different discussion)
But i know for me this is why i don’t run to the idea of marriage – the art of monogamy is lost on our generation and i don’t have the energy to have to coach a grown ass man into being monogamous or at the very least ensure his monogamous activities don’t end up in my line of vision (more time than not this is difficult for men to manage)
2. Address your concerns with the person you are dating.
It’s not fair if you know you partner dreams of this big day happening and you know that you won’t be giving them this – and plus you won’t be the bad guy/girl in the long run because at least you were honest with what your intentions are and by doing this the ball is now in their court it may hurt you if they leave but remember you chose their happiness over yours and they’ll thank you for later.
3. Have this conversation earlier in your dating life.
I understand wanting to keep certain aspects of your life private. However, conversations surrounding marriage are ones that should be had early on in my opinion. It is better to have this conversation on date one rather than during six months in, where you have started to have feelings for the person. If you are 100% sure on not getting married then I think it is only fair to let the person know early to prevent any unnecessary heartbreak.
Rest assured though there is absolutely nothing wrong with you not wanting to get married. Marriage does not represent how much you love someone and we all love in our own ways and that is all that matters.