“I Proposed. She Said No”
In my current age bracket – Marriage proposals are hot conversational topics.
Brought to you by Twitter A Man’s Worst Nightmare
I proposed and she said no.
Now i can imagine the horror of this situation – because for a man to even get on one knee to woman he has to pick up his ego and put it to one side so imagine that then add the whole family and friends watching this moment then multiply by the feeling of rejection mixed with ego and wahla you have a bruised man (again all of this is happening in front of other people…yikes)
Many men said that once she hit them with a no that’s it it’s done it’s alll over.
With many of them resorting to the “every woman wants to get married so if she says no to you it’s just not you” this made me pause, i must not be a woman because i am not pressed for marriage and it’s not up there on my top 10 things i want to do in life (link to “i don’t want to get married is there something wrong with me)
There are many reasons your significant other may reject your proposals (and not all the reasons are to do with it)
1. They just aren’t ready – Marriage is big step and many men are conditioned to think all women have been dreaming about this day since they could walk when in actual fact women’s wants and needs have changed with more and more women choosing careers over motherhood because a lot of companies don’t provide adequate support for new mothers – it’s no wonder you might get hit with the I’m not ready yet i mean you are essentially asking her to put her career on hold at some point
Solution : ask why they feel they aren’t ready? And take it on board and work with them to get to a stage where they do feel ready.
However though i implore you to also take your own feelings into consideration and ensure you are choosing to work with them for not only your benefit but also theirs and not to manipulate them into going along with your proposal.
2. They thinks you aren’t ready – this is a difficult one to address because as humans we believe we know ourselves best – which is true but we also need to remember we cannot see ourselves so what we may believe we are portraying may not be what is being received by people around us
Solution : Just like the first solution it boils down to communication and the openness to receive the feedback it may be small things to you but to this person it could be a dealbreaker and it’s important to understand why and how you can make it work.
3. They don’t want to get married – dun dun dun….this is really the heartbreaking one of them all but can absolutely be avoided by having that talk with your partner before you pop the question but if you haven’t yet do remember for some people marriage is not the be all end all and is not the only representation of their commitment to you.
Solution: talk to them and understand what is it about marriage they don’t want to do – could it be the thought of a big fancy wedding that’s putting them off? Could it perhaps be seeing a failed marriage around them? Is it the thought of a piece of paper being used as a symbol?
Whatever it is it’s something and don’t even get thrown off by a “i don’t know”. I don’t know is not a bad thing it means they do know they just don’t know how to put it in words in this moment and that is okay finding a middle ground is what is vital here.
These are just some of the common reasons i have come across when women have said no to marriage proposals.
But everyone is different and has their different needs and wants but i do wholeheartedly recommend talking about marriage with your partner before you go putting a downpayment on a ring and what you should hopefully get is some clarity on where they are with it and go from there.
After all nobody needs that level of public embarrassment in 2019.