Just a quick post on something me and my friend was talking about when we went for drinks last week, he was telling me about a friend of his who was in a back and forth relationship with her boyfriend, he had cheated on her three times and spent his time accusing her of cheating (smh!) but anyway she would cut him off or they would get into a huge argument, and she would call up my friend crying…then gets angry…then the IDGAF attitude appears which is always followed by this statement…
“He will always come back to me anyway….”
Oh how many times I have heard this statement come from the mouths of male and females alike, I myself has even boasted about someone coming to back to me…then it hit me, I am an insurance plan.
Now I’m sure you all know what insurance is but for those of you that do not here is a quick definition according to google
“An arrangement by which a company or the state undertakes to provide a guarantee of compensation for specified loss, damage, illness or death in return for the payment of a specified premium
“A thing providing protection against a possible eventuality”
Now the reason most of us would get insurance is to ensure that if we happen to lose our phone on a drunk night out, or we happen to get in our feelings and smash our phone, we can get a replacement for a small excess fee (unless you have an iPhone, then them excess fees can be quite heartbreaking) but the reality is that what we have it for.
Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you automatically become an insurance plan when you forgive your partner. I do believe in giving people second chances (depending on the crime that was committed obviously?!) but when the same offence is committed multiple times…I think it is time for you to start asking the question “Am I an Insurance Plan?”
Scenario: Billy/Chantelle now cheats on you and this is the second time it has happened you have now found this out because their concubine has called you and informed of you, after the argument they say sorry again and you decide to then “let things go” 3 weeks later they commit the same crime again = You are their insurance plan.
Chantelle knows you will forgive her. Chantelle knows that it might take a few flowers and some foot rubs and maybe a luxurious item depending on your bank balance but the fact remains by the end of it all you will forgive them. The dust settles and they are back at it again.
Do you know why that is? It is because they have worked out that no matter what they do you will always accept that and blame the 3rd party who came in and ruined everything, you absolve them of 100% accountability. And with anything, if you arent 100% to blame you can always find ways to make the other party look worse.
Saying things like they “always come back to me” is not a victory. You are in fact the loser. You are the safety blanket. The old covered in stains blanket that no matter what if your preferred blanket is in the wash this one will do the trick.
Do you want to be that stained blanket? Or do you want to be the luxurious well looked after careful not to stain blanket?